It was shortly before the unusual symptoms became noticeable, that led to this breast cancer journey. I was driving down a very familiar road one day, and suddenly the sky was SO unusually brilliant, that I grabbed my phone and just pointed and clicked the camera through my windshield.
Only after I returned home and looked at the pictures, did I clearly see a HUGE EAGLE in the sky.
Immediately, I heard the words in my spirit,“I’ve got you!’’
Then a favorite scripture came to mind:
Deuteronomy 32:11
As an eagle stirs up its nest and hovers over its young,
He spread His wings to catch them
and carried them safely on HIs pinions.
Around the same time, I’d had a surprise experience in which a friend was praying for me and I was ‘delivered’ from ‘a generational spirit of independence.’ (There’s a lot of story there… if that is not familiar to some of my readers… just know it’s a thing, and this was very real!). You see… I come from a long line of ‘hard-working’, ‘strong,’ ‘independent,’ “I can do it myself’’ dutchmen. They are an admirable bunch… but God was doing something new in me, and I told Him that day, “I don’t know how to’ depend’ in the way You are inviting me to do.” The phrase I heard Him whisper to me in response was: “Intense Care.” He was going to teach me how to be newly, deeply dependent on Him, somehow, in the days ahead.
So when I was diagnosed with ‘stage 3 breast cancer’ – I fell back on these vital words of promise that had already been announced in such surprising and special ways:
“I’VE GOT YOU.”
“I will take INTENSE CARE of you.”
So, how has God kept His promises?
Let me count the ways….
Actually, I can’t…
There’ve been so many…
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Like today.
…My sister texted in the morning, “Would you like some blueberries?” I had to ask, “Are they organic? No spray?” It’s what my new healthy diet calls for. Her answer was “Yes. ” So, a bit later in the morning I opened my door to find a beautiful 10 lb. box of blueberries waiting there for me.
…This afternoon, as I said goodbye to a client at my door, I saw sitting on the same bench – another beautiful gift: a vase full of lovely flowers and a card with hand writing on it that I recognized. This friend is like a hallmark card, herself… so I knew it would be a special card. It was. I cried as I read words she penned straight from the Fathers heart – speaking directly to the ache in mine – that made me know how much He sees, hears and understands me right now.
…I’ve blogged about the car ‘God bought me’ (through generous loved ones) that gets me to all the appointments I didn’t know I’d be driving to, on incredible gas mileage.
…I think I mentioned… my dishwasher broke just as medical bills were piling up… my son helped me find a good replacement, which was going to cost me $500 I didn’t have. But the next day a thoughtful card came in the mail with a check for… you guessed it… exactly $500. You can’t make this stuff up.
…Another friend called and said, “I’d like to come every Friday and clean your bathrooms. Would that be okay?” (Are you kidding??) WHAT a loving gift.
…My sister-in-law, as well as another dear friend offered to help me with my gardening. They’ve pulled many weeds, prepared my vegetable garden beds, and continue to support the summer beauty all around my home – that is so nourishing to my heart.
…Friends have sent gift cards for all the organic groceries I’m buying at Safeway.
…One morning, returning home from yet another doctor appointment, feeling discouraged and concerned, I pulled into the drive-through of my favorite coffee shop for a sugar-free latte. Someone had ‘paid it forward’ for the next customer in line, so my little treat was free. It was the perfect kiss from above, at that particular moment in time.
…Just the other day I woke up too early, and couldn’t get back to sleep.I heard my phone ding in the next room and got up to find a text from my sister who lives 3 hours ahead of me in another state. It said:
“From my quiet time right now:
Psalm 63:6-8
I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night
because you are my helper.
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you.
Your strong right hand holds me securely.”
I love you my sister.
(A-mazing!)
One more really special one…
…It was my second biopsy and I was really dreading it because my first biopsy experience was really painful. I believe there was a lack of anesthesia in the very sensitive area they took one of the biopsies from. I cried like a little girl. It was not only the pain, but the sense of violation I felt, that was shocking to me.
This time the administering nurse slipped out of the room for just a bit and I laid there, telling God I felt small and vulnerable, asking Him to please let me feel His Presence in that moment. Suddenly, I was aware that the soft instrumental music playing in the background switched to a song I recognized: “Jesus Loves Me This I Know”… the earliest song of comfort I knew as a child. It played for just a matter of seconds… and then the music switched again before the song was over, and before the nurse returned. I was like – “Did that really just happen???” But it DID. And I knew I was not alone.
Now when I go to bed, most nights, I lay there and think through the day and ask myself:
How many ways has His ‘intense care’ touched my life today?
Where have I recognized His love reaching out to me, and letting me know ‘He’s got me??’
Then I THANK HIM for the beautiful love He keeps showing me …
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
