I went out in public the other day – to a gathering of women. I think everyone there knew of my diagnosis, and several were seeing me for the first time ‘since they’d heard.’ So each interaction had the flavor of ‘You have cancer’… ‘I’m so sorry’… ‘How are you feeling?’… ‘You sure look good’… (meaning usually ‘cancer’ looks like gaunt bodies and shaved heads).
In other words, a cancer diagnosis does not tend to surround you with an atmosphere of positive expectation. And that is the meaning of HOPE: a positive expectation of good.
Mind you, there was nothing wrong with anyone’s comments. These were lovely women, and they truly cared. I knew this. But it left a residue of… dread… fear…I picked up on the negative expectations that surround the word ‘cancer’ for most everyone.
So that night… I struggled to sleep. I was restless…. and, honestly? I was afraid. I tossed and turned, trying my best to deny the negative thoughts assailing me. Finally – I got up, turned on my bedside lamp, and went to get ‘the book of truth’ – my Bible.
Sometimes when I know I need a word from God, but don’t know where to find it – I ask (“please!”) and open up the book. I opened to Judges 6 – and read Gideon’s story. I read until something stuck out to me, like it’s been underlined with a neon marker – and I was not disappointed:
Judges 6:23
But Yahweh spoke to him and said,
“Be at peace. Do not be afraid. You will not die.”
Judges 6:14
“With my presence you have all you need.
Go in the strength that you now have.”
It matters that in this story God had found Gideon afraid, and hiding because of a strong enemy. And He said to this timid, cowardly man, “Yahweh’s presence goes with you, man of fearless courage!” (God often speaks things that are not yet visible, and brings them into reality.)
Judges 6:24
So Gideon built an altar to Yahweh there
And named it “In Yahweh there is peace.”
So I closed the book and built an altar. I repeated the truth that God had freshly spoken to my heart over and over – until I fell asleep for the rest of the night: “Be at peace. Do not be afraid. You will not die.”
This morning, I read David’s words in Psalm 16, which Peter repeated on Pentecost – full of the Holy Spirit, with his tongue on fire:
Acts 2:25
I continually see the Lord in front of me;
Because He is at my right hand
I will not be moved.
No wonder my heart is glad
And my soul celebrates!
My mouth is filled with His praises,
And I have HOPE THAT MY BODY WILL LIVE!
Aramaic:
“Even my body He will restore to HOPE.”
Greek:
“My body will pitch it’s tent in HOPE (expectation).”
The thing about truth is – it’s so solid… strong… enduring… sure.
We can build on it. And it will keep growing.
Romans 5 reminds us how powerful our suffering is. It develops our endurance, matures our character, and its end goal is…. HOPE! This humbles me… because I have a ways to go before CONFIDENT HOPE is my automatic response to whatever I go through.
Romans 5:3-5
“Let us rejoice in our sufferings
Knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship
Produce patient and unswerving endurance.
And endurance develops maturity of character
(Approved faith and tried integrity).
And character [of this sort] produces
[The habit of] joyful and confident HOPE.
Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us.”
It’s a challenge to ‘rejoice’ in what I am going through…
But, the ‘HABIT OF HOPE’ is growing in me.
And now, Lord,
What do I wait for and expect?
My hope and expectation are in You.
My BODY will pitch its tent in HOPE!
I will be at peace!
I will not be afraid!
I will not die, but LIVE
And declare the works of the Lord!
Thank You, Lord that this
Is going to turn out SO WELL
Because YOU ARE SO GOOD.
AMEN :).
